Family Dinners: Dessert and Pigs included

I have both fond and not so fond memories of family dinners. Don't we all?

As a preface, dinner at home were never boring. I quickly learned this at a young age when asked to eat over at friends' houses. Considering none of my friends had 4 younger siblings - the entertainment value for dinner at their houses was par for the course. On a given night at the Barcelona ranch you could hit 18 straight eagles.

Of this I will not complain. We always ate healthy, well balanced meals. We said Grace before each meal. We talked. Yes, we had actual human conversation at the table. (And now that we are all adults, we actually have discussions from time to time - that is, when we are all now in town to eat together). The best part of the meal was once you finished your plate you got dessert. It is because of this ritual that every evening now after cleaning my plate I long for something more- something sweet. Perhaps the occasional diet would actually be successful if this hadn't turned out to be sure a personal vice - that damn ice cream - it gets me every time.

On the sweet note of dessert lies one of the worst parts of dinner. When we were younger (and by younger, I refer to myself and two brothers) if you misbehaved not only did you get the "sting" and "tongue rolled between the teeth," but you also got something far more painful - No Treat Week. This was like the electric chair of punishments at the B. House.

Mom is an artist, even if she would never admit it. No Treat Weeks meant she would cleverly and very artfully create a mini-calendar of the week in which you would have no treats. That puppy got slapped on the fridge to remind you no sugar would touch your lips that week, and also so that the person who actually got you in trouble could rub it in your face all week. Although the mockery and the fridge art were not the worst of the punishment. The worst was knowing that you finished your plate and deserved to be rewarded in ounces of ice cream. Instead - you had to sit at the table and watch everyone else thoroughly enjoying their dessert. This is naturally when the bastard that got you in trouble would ham it up. "MMM this ice cream is so good - so rich- so creamy. It's a shame you hit me over the head with a baseball bat and you can't enjoy it... MMM." I have memories of being reduced to tears by this torture. To my parents credit, this punishment was genius. I don't remember having No Treat Weeks that often and when I did I regretted not getting away with the crime and just getting spanked.

Another very fond memory I have of the family dinner was the 'Pig Award.' This little 'game' was either invented for one of two reason (1) A younger sibling brought one of the farm animals - the pig - from her toy farm to the table on random dinner or (2) the rents were sick of our piggish behavior at the table. (Piggish behavior could, but was not limited to the following behavior: chewing with one's mouth open, wiping dirty face on sleeve, burping, putting elbows on the table, using fork like a shovel, eating with one's hands...etc.). Essentially the "Pig Award" was given out each dinner after everyone had eaten at least half of their meal. The award was given to the person with the most piggish manners. No lies - this was almost always one of my brothers. Almost always. At first the award was an insult. No one wanted the pig placed in front of his/her place. After a couple of weeks or so though it was no longer an insult, it became the "Pig Award Competition." Who could eat the most repulsively and get the award. We fought for that fat piece of plastic. The Pig Award was quickly retired by my parents and I am pretty sure there were No Treat Weeks issued to all under the age of 12. (That was all of us.)

Really when it comes down to it - dinner was always a good time. We all always ate together. We waited until Dad came home from work. The table would already be set and we'd eat. If we were in sports and Dad coached - (which was each of us at one point) then we waited then too. I think it for all these family dinners that I think all of my siblings and I actually like each other. We all also have a great appreciation for food. Amazing was some family QT can do to one's life.

On that note - I need some ice cream. I cleaned my plate Mommy, I promise.